Screaming Yellow Zonkers! REVIEW!

Wonka Ice Cream Review!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Fast Food Frenzy 7 (Subway Edition) & Seafaring Stirfry

Hard to believe I'm about to say this but Subway is a fast food restaurant chain, I count it was a low-tier restaurant, and I consider it to be.. Acceptable.. - I can't believe I've said that about a place that serves fucking fast-food, that's so against my nature as a person it's violent but it's true; Subway is okay.. At least most of it..

Of course Subways slogan is 'Eat Fresh' - Eat Fresh means that their food-stuff offerings are more healthy for you than say.. A grease-laden low-grade beef patty that's been sitting under a hot-light all day allowing the grease and fat to congeal into a gel-like slime over the surface of the alleged aberrant 'meat'. Yeah, ew.

Surprisingly of the times I've eaten at Subway I've found sandwiches that I became neigh on or totally and completely addicted to and it's rare that I become 'addicted', truly addicted to anything from a fast-food chain.. But I became full on addicted to at least a few of these sandwiches and the only way I can explain it away is by stating that these sandwiches do in fact use fresh ingredients and those fresh ingredients do their parts in drawing me in; I loves me some cold veggies.

Steak, Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Sandwich:
I've only had one of these since Subway started doing breakfast, mine removed the bacon in favour of lowering the calorie and fat-content because frankly as good as bacon tastes it's mightily unfuckinhealthy and doesn't really offer enough to the food for me to justify leaving it on when removing it leaves the sandwich tasting just as good and lowers it's badness rating in my book..

It's funny too that Subway is so strange breakfast wise. Somehow the idea of Subway serving breakfast seems wrong to me and yet when I think about it logically it makes perfect sense and seems like it fits, congratulations Subway; you've fucking confused my sub conscious - Way to go assholes.

This sandwich is surprisingly good like most of their breakfast sandwiches but honestly in my personal opinion this sandwich is the superior deal in their breakfast sandwich line. I don't know what type of steak they use for this sandwich, it's probably not very high quality and is likely scraps from something else that isn't fit to be sold at regular price but in spite of that the steak on this sandwich is still quite good and the sandwich itself just works - It's delicious.

The usual sandwich consists of steak, eggs, bacon, cheese, and a toasted flat bread - Like I said, I remove the bacon and I think the sandwich is fine but I also know that I'm going to be fucking lynch mobbed probably by the troves of baconites out there that consider what I just said to be high blasphemy - When you find my corpse covered in bacon fat and fried just remember what I've said here, at least then there will be no question as to what happened; specifically that I didn't try to swim in a vat of hot bacon and bacon fat.. At least not of my own free will..

Turkey Jalapeno:
So it looks better in the marketing photograph than in person - Much better. I've never really understood that because as much as people claim that honesty is the best policy it seems that lying is how corporations feel they're more likely to make sales but to be perfectly honest I'd be more likely to buy something if it were shown to me how it actually was in person and looked appetizing that way - What good does some gussied up photograph that doesn't at all represent the actual product do me after all? But corporations get away with this shit because consumers allow it more or less, it's kind of disappointing.

Nevertheless all that aside this sandwich is good and I fucking love jalapeno's so they on this sandwich are a definite positive - A positive kind of off-set by the fact that I can add jalapeno's to anything I want at Subway by simply requesting them. I could have a Jalapeno Diet Coke if I wanted.. Goddamn..

This is another one of those sandwiches I always alter though mostly due to allergies and the fact that I can't eat everything on the standard sandwich without risking analytic shock, choking on my own fucking tongue, and dying - That's kind of a deterrent.

I can largely eat everything on this sandwich except the Chipotle Southwest Sauce and this I have to have removed from the sandwich to avoid you know.. Dying.. Dying would kind of inconvenience me.. However the rest of this sandwich is pretty impressive to behold including delicious and tender turkey which melds so well with the other flavours of the sandwich, nice melted cheese, jalapeno's, and of course anything else you choose to add to it - That's what I love about Subway, they'll let you build whatever you want and add anything you want onto your sandwich. You almost can't lose that way.

Seafood Delight:
This sandwich mocks me with how good it is, let me verify; I've saved the best for last. The Seafood Delight is a sandwich that mocks God if there is one, the powers that be if they are, and all that is good and Holy - This sandwich is A-FUCKIN'-MAZING!!!! Son of a bitch you want to talk about an explosion of flavour and enjoyment all going into your pie-hole to nearly explode your goddamn brain? That's this sandwich!
So aside from raping your mind and perception of reality with it's awesomeness this sandwich features a dazzling and impressive array of ingredients standard with the sandwich.. This not of course counting your own choices to place on the sandwich after the fact, this is just the default which is a Seafood Mayo mix (Crab and the like - I can't tell if it's imitation crab, it probably is but the important thing is the redundancy in reiteration here; I can't tell if it's imitation or not - It doesn't matter then.) and of course your choice of secondary additions to the sandwich. Oh my god. This is tasty on a sinful level, I devour sandwiches like these in mere minutes and feel nothing - These could be eaten by the truck load.

The problem is when this was released was I think about 2010 - 2011 and it was a Limited Time Offer sort of thing, I think they were testing them.. I'm not sure if they're still offered or if they were simply Limited Time Offers rather than testing sandwiches, our area is small and doesn't have enough people to justify testing out here.. Especially not at the store we purchased this at which was right outside our apartment complex.. But goddamn if these are gone forever? I think I might cry and I may never eat or even consider eating at Subway again. ALL their sandwiches pale like sickly weak bitches next to this triumphant beauty.

Beaaautiful, simple, and goddamn cheap as hell! This is another dish I've made in the theme of cutting costs big time and I've utilized left-overs for the stir-fry in this dish, it is Sakana no itamemono (Simply 'Fish Stir-fry) - Nothing particularly special but delicious and beautiful to boot.
Utilizing left over rice, fish, and mushrooms from a previous dish I added them all together into a pan and stir-fried them up then as a topping I added in a nice fried egg sunny side up because it looks so damn pretty on the dish and it's so damn good. I love eggs.
The sides are a beautiful, delicious, and perfect Strawberry Peanut Butter Anpan (Sweet Roll) and a bowl of baked apples (yes, baked) mm mm! I'm pretty sure James loved this dish pretty hard-core, it smelled great.


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