Screaming Yellow Zonkers! REVIEW!

Wonka Ice Cream Review!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

RETRO REVIEW: Wild & Crazy Kids

Okay folks, take my hand and travel back with me over two decades, has it really been that long? Well, not a 'long time' per say but certainly nothing still to scoff about to the magical year of 1990 when Nickelodeon first debuted their great American game-show? Was it a game-show? I'm not sure how to classify a show like this to be honest, I'm not certain if it was really a game-show necessarily because well.. Normally in game-shows you'd win a prize for participation.. Y'know? Some fucking Tuna or something.. But this show didn't really offer any prizes for participation or even winning so was it really a game-show? Who knows.. Anyway.. The show was... drumroll.. Nickelodeon's Wild & Crazy Kids! (As if you couldn't tell from the fucking title, DERP.)

 The show ran from 1990 to 1992 and boasted a grand total of 65 episodes, it wasn't too complicated a show and in fact it was downright simplistic but also quite fun and carried with it Nickelodeon's fun, care-free, and messy attitude of the day, it was a nicer attitude that seems to have kind of waned throughout the years, Nickelodeon is now what seems to be a shell of it's former fun-loving slime-dripping self, it's kind of sad really.

The hosts of Wild & Crazy Kids consisted primarily of Donnie Jeffcoat (Eric Antonio on The Wonder Years) and Omar Gooding, the black kid (Who appeared in other later media such as Batman Beyond as Jared Tate and Trey, Wade in Static Shock, and a few other things) and when I say 'black' I use that word loosely, I'm not actually racist as my readers know but I partake in the occasional racist humour, honestly how can we expect racism to ever lose it's weight if people continue to take it seriously and refuse to laugh at it? Something can't continue to be serious if you laugh at it, it loses it's 'edge' so to speak, it just becomes a joke and good old fashioned fun, besides making racist jokes hardly affects anyone except for some perceived offense from some ancestor that lived over a hundred years ago that you've had no contact with and really have no ties to whatsoever so being offended on their account is kind of ridiculous and really.. What do you think they'd want? Would they want racism to retain the spiteful weight it's always had or would they rather it become a joke of the past? I'm guessing if I went through something like that I'd prefer it be forgotten and become something positive, a joke of the past.. Anyway..

Omar Gooding is about the most white bread motherfucker I've ever seen ranking right up there with host of Nickelodeon Arcade, Phil Moore;

I'm not kidding. These motherfuckers act and talk more white than most white people do and share the same goddamned haircut, what's with that? I'm convinced that Phil Moore and Omar Gooding were just like white people but reverse albino or some shit.. What?! It could fucking happen! Look at what happened to Micheal Jackson! Son of a bitch went from Dark Chocolate black to a noseless white woman spawn of gray aliens in like only a few years!

Well the premise of Wild & Crazy Kids was simple enough but that's what made it great, it wasn't pretentious and it didn't try to be something it wasn't, it was simple good nature complete and utter messy retardfuckingdation. The episodes typically started out with a host.. Uh.. Hosting each game.. The teams typically identified by the colour of the shirts they wore, I.E., Black Team wore black shirts, Yellow Team wore yellow shirts, and Snozzberry Team tasted like Snozzberries. Fuck yeah.

The games were usually variations or takeoffs on playground games, sports with unusual rules added, or messy games involving pies or slime, the latter referred to as 'Blap' in Season 3 which sounds dirty somehow and.. Dear god, really? In a show with kids, why? Why not just call the shit slime, why'd you have to go and make it something I'm uncomfortable with saying around children for some reason? Either that or it makes me think I might be referring to the street name of some fucked up psychotropic that 1960s Adam West Batman took that caused those colourful exclamations to materialize out of thin fucking air when he hit someone.. Yeah.. Straight uncut pure Columbian Blap.

See?! The fucking word is even up there!


Moving right along..

Watching Wild & Crazy Kids was a trip, I've always wanted to compete on a show like this, I've personally never been hit in the face with a pie which makes me sad and my life won't be complete until I have been and yes, this is an invite for anyone in the world to randomly pie my ass, I wouldn't be mad.. Oh no, I wouldn't be mad.. In fact you may make me love you more than life itself but y'know.. I'm weird like that.. Anyway.. Watching Wild & Crazy Kids today brings back memories of food fights and such childish fun, it's all fun and games while the normal and good kids bring Jam, Honey, Peanut Butter, Whipped Cream and the like some of the kids inevitably had parents who thought it would be funny for them to be sent with something disgusting like Wet Dog Food and ruined everyone else' fun by slinging around such nasty shit..

Taken from Wikipedia the usual games were as presented;

Take offs from sports were

  • The most often repeated (once per season) game was Dizzy Bat Home Run Derby. The game consisted of two teams (one of kids and one of adults) batting in three innings. The kids would attempt to hit home runs off of pitched balls; any ball that did not leave the field in fair territory was as an out. Once the kids had three outs, the adults would bat. During their half-inning, a grownup would have up to three chances to hit home runs off a batting tee; however, the adult was first required to hold his bat upright against his forehead and spin around it three times; furthermore, each adult would only get thirty seconds to hit the balls. Three adults would bat every half-inning. Donnie Jeffcoat, incidentally, hosted the game all three times.
  • Three-Legged Soccer, where kids were tied at the ankle like in a Three-Legged Race.
  • Splash Football, where a quarterback would throw footballs to kids jumping off a diving board.
  • Bumper Boat Lacrosse, played in bumper boats.
  • Donkey Basketball, played with kids on donkeys.

Take offs from Playground Games were

  • A giant game of Simon Says which looked more like a comedy routine by leader, Brian Seeman.
  • Red Light/Green Light, retitled Red Pie/Green Pie, where if a child was caught trying to advance after the call of "red light," they hit them self with a pie. If the reached their goal, they hit one of their parents with the pie.
  • Cops and Robbers played on the set of the Miami Vice Spectacular at Universal Studios Hollywood.
  • A Tug of War pitting three professional wrestlers against a team of kids. The wrestlers would face-off against a growing number of kids each round, starting at one and then going to all fifty kids.

 And of course other more 'classical' games

  • A massive game of Twister.
  • Human Space Invaders.
  • Human Battleship.

Of course there were also a ton of Guest Appearances on episodes of Wild & Crazy Kids including one that retrospectively is hilarious, an episode in which they celebrated and promoted the U.S. Presidential Fitness Day featured Arnold Schwarzenegger, yes the same...

I can understand why back then but my thoughts watching this recently only could roll to 'Oh how the mighty have fallen, if only they could see him today', yeah.. Arnold today?

...Man.. You really let yourself go, I mean.. Yuck.. Wow.. That's really quite sad that he's let himself go so badly.. Also pardon, I think I'm going to be physically ill after this..


Now then.. Moving right along..

Wild & Crazy Kids in closing was a pretty awesome show, I of course enjoy all the old Nickelodeon shows where messiness and fun prevails over all, Wild & Crazy Kids gets a retrospective rating of 8.4/10 Big Cat Paws. Awesome show, entertaining, not perfect but then not really meant to be or expected to be.

By the way, Omar Gooding today?

..Man rediscovered his blackness..

Tonight's dinner for James was Mushitori Meshi (Steamed Rice Chicken) which is a new one I haven't done before. It's Steamed Rice, Chicken, and Mushrooms all steamed in an Oyster Sauce with a topping of Creamy Savoury Sauce with Diced Tomatoes added - The side is a Peanut Butter Anpan (Sweet Roll) and seemed to be quite enjoyed.

Can't say it's super pretty but I'm not completely unhappy with how it turned out so eh. Pretty good I guess.

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