I've posted about them in the past but these were another thing that weren't around for my new spiffy rating system which I've grown rather attached to and found as a useful tool, I'm not quite sure really what to say about these.. They're rollish, they're filled with Strawberry stuff, and Creme or is it 'Cream' this time? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS OR CARES?!, and they're generally fairly delicious looking and tempting to try.
That's why I finally gave in and got me a box again for the sake of a re-review.
The package is certainly very pretty, the art on the front depicts rolls which don't really look like what you get which is no particular surprise there, the actual red of the Strawberry stuff inside is eclipsed completely by the white of the Creme or Cream, whatever the fuck it is this time, and generally while the rolls do maintain the same shape they just kind of look like Twinkies with a strange spiral shape in the center.
Staaare into the spiral, you are getting sleeeepy. You must have a Twiiinkie! And enter Tom Servo screaming 'SLEEEEEEEEEEP!', yep.. That would put me under right fast, probably about six feet under after my heart stopped beating from the shock.
The texture of these feeling-wise is very much like that of a Twinkie, a very smooth and rounded Twinkie but still a Twinkie, my product of course was frozen which I feel probably gives it a bit more of an advantage to look something like the marketing art on the box depicts, when I broke these in half with a ferocity much like Bane to Batman aiming to break it's back but rending it fully in twain to take a photograph of their insides as you can see, the red Strawberry stuff was revealed fully in it's great goopy blood-like entirety.. Honestly there's a whole lot more Strawberry stuff in there than I'd originally expected there would be from the view on the outside, the outside view revealing only a swirl of white..
Now a big thing to remember is while I freeze these because I prefer them cold universally, they don't actually ever get hard and when I bit into this it was a wonderful ballet of sweetness and sweetness and goddamned sweetness in my mouth, soft sweetness but still a whole goddamned lot of sweetness, particularly the taste of what came off as Strawberry Jam or Preserves rather than what I'd expect from the Strawberries in a Strawberry Shortcake which was a little off-putting but not entirely bad.
The cake half of this is definitely more or less a Twinkie Cake, it's about the same flavour and consistency when you bite into it and a few chews reduces the bite in your mouth to a liquefied mess of slimy goo which while sounding gross isn't particularly unpleasant, it's quite delicious if you're in the mood for something with a whole fuck-ton of sweet behind it.
The coolness of it all seemed to help the flavour in the long run as they appeared to be intensified and the big player on these was the flavour of the Strawberry Jam stuff which rather than what would be visually suggested actually went the other way and eclipsed the Cream or Creme or whatever the fuck in taste; the Creme or Cream or whatever the fuck got the advantage visually but flavour wise was completely over-taken by the taste of the Strawberry Jam stuff.
All in all? Not a bad snack, not a particularly excellent or great snack.. Little Debbie Strawberry Shortcake Rolls receive a rating of 5.1/10 Big Cat Paws meaning I'd probably choose something over them if I had the choice and I probably won't ever choose them over anything else.